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Collaborative Stories

This is where you can help me build a story.  I'll continue to add on to this story based on your suggestions (characters, plots, etc.).  Submit your suggestions and ideas to help me build the story. 

3/6/2010 8:23:35 AM
The Black Sword

Chapter One

Amelia was panting hard. Her breath was heavy against the silence. Her bare feet pounded on the ground, and the tattered reamains of her pink evening ball gown dragged on the hard earth. She winced whenever she hit a sharp rock or stone, but kept on running.

When she got to the cliff, she stopped, circling her arms back and forth to keep her balance. She heard the roar of the dragon behind her. A wave of heat splashed over her, and she knew that it had just spit out its fire. She was trapped, except for one escape.

Down.

She waited and waited. Finally, when the dragon's face was right behind her, about to emmit more fire, she threw herself over the edge of the cliff.

And then woke up.

In a startled jerk, she sat upright in her bed. The same dream every night. Running away from a dragon, coming to a cliff, jumping over, then waking up. Monika, a maid, came to Amelia's side. "Mistress, are you all right?" she asked. "You were sweating in your sleep, you were." Amelia felt her clammy forhead, beaded with sweat. "My breakfast, where is it?" asked Amelia.

"Right here, miss, we took the liberty of adding a vase of flowers if you'd like," said Monika. A small, pale maid named Rachel walked up to Amelia with a tray in her hands. Scrambled eggs, french toast and pancakes with syrup, chocolate-covered strawberries, orange juice and hot chocolate. Amelia smiled. She loved being a princess.

 

Later that day, Amelia was walking in the gardens when she heard a noise. It was a roar, so big and so strong, that she knew it had to be that of a dragon's. But dragons don't exist, she thought. Then she remembered her dream the night before. And she knew this had to be the same dragon. In the old stories, dragons always wanted someone or something because of revenge. Or maybe that something was just a treasure they wanted that they did not possess. Amelia had no idea what the dragon wanted. But she was determined to find out. So she set out across the maze of hedges in the garden, closer to the dragon, to see what he wanted.

 

 

 

Usually Amelia’s walks in the garden were fun but short because it was so small. But this maze of hedges seemed so…endless. And all of a sudden, she gasped.

In front of her was a huge monster, part lion, part cat, part human. A female human. Amelia knew, from the old stories her grandfather used to tell her when she was a little girl, that this had to be a Sphinx.

“What are you doing here?” asked Amelia, frightened. She took a step back, afraid the Sphinx might be dangerous.

“Young one, I am the Sphinx, here to help you and to warn you. I am the guardian of all those who choose to cross the Great Dragon’s path. In other words, I protect people from him. Why would you want to see him?” asked the Sphinx, her voice deep and booming, neither man nor woman’s.

“He has been in my dreams many times, and I want to know what he wants, because obviously he wants something,” said Amelia, stepping a little closer.

“He does, that is correct. And the fact that he has been in your dreams must say that he want whatever he does even more.” said the Sphinx.

“Do you know what he wants?” asked Amelia.

“He wants a sacrifice. Your great-great-great-grandfather angered him so long ago many thought he had forgotten, but the Great Dragon never forgets his sacrifices. Once he smells your blood and sees that you are one of his descendants, he will hesitate not to eat you whole,” said the Sphinx. “You must send someone who is willing to risk their life for you to find out what else will be a good sacrifice instead. I hear you are a princess and cannot die for then the kingdom will not prosper without a queen. You are too valuable.”

Amelia slowly turned away, staring at the Sphinx all the while. After walking for what seemed like forever, she, by what seemed like magic, arrived at the front entrance of the palace, left there to scratch her head and wonder about the Sphinx’s words.

  

 

 

 

Chapter 2

Amelia was taking a walk through the gardens again. She was simply strolling, but secretly, she wanted to see if the hedges were back to normal and hadn’t stretched again like last time.

She wandered through them a little bit and decided they were safe. She pretended she was a fluttery fairy, light on her toes, quick on her feet. She twirled and skipped through the garden until she saw something that made her stop and twirl around to see better.

In front of her was a stray dog. He looked perfectly harmless, though, so the princess extended her hand for the dog to sniff.

“Hello,” she replied to the dog, trying to use her softest voice.

The dog licked and sniffed her hand a couple times, then said, “Come with me,” in a gruff, hardy voice.

The princess was shocked, but, scared, she followed the dog through the mazes of hedges in the garden. After what seemed like an hour, Amelia sat down on a large rock she had never seen before. They had to be lost.

“I’m so tired,” said Amelia, who, being a princess, had never walked quite so far before in her life. “We’re almost there,” said the dog, the only other thing he had said since they had started walking.

And indeed they were. In less than ten minutes the dog and Amelia approached a cave. A rock cave with a black center and a weird blue light at the other side.

“Is this a tunnel?” Amelia asked the dog.

“Yes, but it’s not a sideways tunnel. It’s a down tunnel,” replied the dog. “You jump down it and pray that Wamatash has remembered to put out the mattress today.” The dog’s reply startled Amelia, but all she could say was, “So like a downwards tunnel, like Alice in Wonderland?”

“Sort of,” said the dog, “Although my answer could be more precise if I knew what you were talking about. Now come, you must see Abugadi.” And with that, he curled himself up and jumped down into the depths of the dark tunnel. Not knowing what else to do, Amelia followed him.

She landed on a soft mattress after what seemed like a few minutes of falling and screaming and shutting her eyes back and forth at the same time.

“UGH.” said Amelia when she landed. The mattress had certainly softened her fall, but it had knocked the wind out of her still. She regained her breath as she looked around, mainly for the dog, mainly at her surroundings.

It was the strangest place she had ever seen. A forest, full of odd looking plants and trees that almost looked like--

“Candy,” breathed Amelia, standing up slowly. All of a sudden, a little man in a red suit with hair gelled up into a little curl tugged on the hem of her dress. Next to him was the dog.

“Felix here tells me you are needing of Abugadi’s service,” said the little man. Amelia nodded. “I suppose,” she said.

“Follow me,” said the man. “I work for Abugadi. My name is Frenklin.” And with that he led the princess away from the mattress, the hole in the sky she had just come through, and down a path to a huge castle made entirely of what looked like chocolate.

“Wow,” said Amelia. Her surroundings were magnificent. Everything was made of chocolate, and yet, it seemed like an exact palace of the castle at home. All of a sudden she knew where her bedroom was. She flew up the staircase. Inside was not a bedroom, though, but a storage closet. It doesn’t matter, she thought. I don’t need to see what my bedroom looks like with a chocolate interior.

At the top of the stairs she saw another short man dressed in red velvet with a cape and a gold staff. He had a crown circling his gelled, curly-cued hair. “Amelia, of the Kingdom of Beckett. Here to receive information about the Sacrifice of the Great Dragon. I can help,” he promised. “I am Abugadi,” he said, “the Leader.

“I need help with something,” said Amelia in the throne room a few minutes later. “A dragon wants my soul and I can’t give him that. What will it mean for the future of my kingdom? Mere subjects who don’t even know what they’re doing will be elected and I don’t want that. And, I expect, sacrifice is painful,” said Amelia, sweating towards the last part. “But I don’t want to make the dragon angry. What do I do?”

Abugadi clapped his hands twice and two little red men with the curly hair brought up a gold case with letters on it.

“This is the Black Sword, passed down from generation to generation of Watookies. (That is the type of people we are.) What the dragon wants most of all is the Sword, but he’s searched all over the globe and cannot find it. He has not looked in the land of Watookies, though, and that is where it is. The Black Sword has a power like no other. If you give him the Sword, it will either kill him or give him immortality. The only way to get rid of him is to pierce his heart with the thing he’s desired all his life, and that is the Sword. Take it, trick him into taking it, then trick him into blindness, henceforth destroying him. It can only be done by the chosen sacrifice, which is you,” said Abugadi. Felix looked up at Amelia. The case was in her hands now. She looked down at the little dog pleadingly. “Take me home,” she said. Felix did.

But just then, in front of them dropped the dragon, green and scaly. He had fangs longer than Amelia's arms, and his breath stunk! He roared and spit out fire through his nose. Felix, barking, ran off and Amelia ducked out of the way of the billowing flames.

Amelia started running. But as she did, the dragon decided to run after her. The ground shook with every step he took. "Come back, you foolish girl!" he bellowed with a deep, loud, raspy voice. Amelia didn't stop, though, until she tripped on a root. She fell to the ground, flat on her face. The wind was knocked out of her stomach, and her long, billowing, dirty pink satin dress was caught on a sharp stone. Tugging at her dress did nothing, and as the dragon advanced, she knew she was going to be his supper. But just then, Felix jumped in front of the dragon's flames. When the fire cleared, all that was left was a solid gold statue of a dog identical to Felix.

It was Felix.

Amelia cried out. It seemed she was hopeless now. The dragon roared, angry he had missed his target. Frustrated, he spit out some mor fire, but this time, it circled around him like a glass case and he disappeared with a gray poof of smoke.

Amelia started at the little gold dog. She was so sure Felix would be able to help her--it seemed as if he knew everything. But just then, Abugadi spoke up: "I can help you bring Felix back to life," he promised.

Amelia blinked. "You can?"

Abugadi almost laughed. "Of course! You have a lot to learn, young one. Come. I will teach you the ways of the Ancient Beings and how I will help you accomplish the many tasks that lie ahead of you." Abugadi walked off, deep into the palace. And, once again feeling hopeless and lost and without any other choice, Amelia followed Abugadi deep into the palace.

 

Chapter Three

Once Abugadi and Amelia were in the palace again, Abugadi invited Amelia into an elegant parlor with couches and a beautiful coffee table standing on an ornate rug--all out of chocolate. "Come, child, and sit with me," said Abugadi. "I promise that by the time you go home everything will be explained and clear," promised the old cheif. Hestitant, but desperate to help her friend, Amelia sat down, hoping Felix would be alright.

"I must confess to you that I am not a normal Watookie. I was chosen as cheif for my magical abilities. I still have those abilities and use them every day. I have invented many spells before, but this one has been passed on for generations. Watookies all over the world haveused this spell countless times to escape the wrath of the Dragon. But for this spell to work, you need to very specific ingredients--the blood of the dragon, and the Blue Flower of Life. In order to get the blood of the Dragon, the most important ingredient, you must slay the Dragon. Again, this can only be done by his chosen sacrifice--you. Do you understand so far?" said Abugadi.

Amelia stood up from her couch, enfuriated. "There you go again! Yes, of course I understand! But now I think YOU need to understand something-- I'm not slaying any dragon! I can't! I couldn't if I tried, because I just don't know how!" Amelia shouted.

"I don't think you understand," said Abugadi, obviously confused. "You have to, to save your kingdom, Beckett, to save Felix, to save everyone. It is vital you carry out your mission." Amelia was getting angrier and angrier by the minute. No way she was going to do something as stupid as to try and kill a dragon.

But then she looked out the window, at the little statue of Felix, the golden dog, and felt so bad. He had saved her, and she wasn't even willing to same him. She swallowed all her fears. "Okay, tell me the spell," she said bravely, staring Abugadi straight in the eye.

"Okay, here it is," Abugadi said. "Mind you, you're being very brave. Okay: 'Puppy of gold, whose ever so bold, come join me.'"

"That's it?!" said Amelia. "Why didn't you tell me it would be so easy?!"

"It's not," responded Abugadi. "Remember? The Blue Flower of Life? The Dragon's blood? You must do that all by yourself, but I'll tell you where to look."

"Okay, shoot," said Amelia.

Abugadi's eyes widened.

"Okay, okay, just tell me where to look for your stupid flower and your stupid dragon!" Amelia shouted.

"The flower will be found in the Valley of Life, which is not in the Land of Watookies, but beyond it. There are millions of flowers there, but if you get to the Valley on time and before the dragon slaying, all the other flowers will be orange. The Blue Flower of Life is, well, blue. That would be the easy part," Abugadi explained.

"And the dragon?" Amelia asked, cringing, hoping he would change his mind and tell her not to slay the dragon, the spell would work without it, please, please, PLEASE--

"The dragon lives in his cave in the Hushkan Mountains, completely on the other side of this world, the world you are in right now," Abugadi explained, but it made no sense.

"So you mean...it's different from where I live?" asked Amelia.

"Yes, completely. Anyway, one more thing: the dragon's cave--it moves around wherever it wants, and the dragon is not always in it. Sometimes he escapes to your world, the world of your palace. If he is up there too long, he will start on maybe the others of the royal court--your family, friends, everyone you love. So you must hurry! Time speeds up when you're down here, so while you may be gone for days down here, it may be weeks up there. Good luck," he said

"Wait--no! You can't just leave me like that! I need to know where everything is! I need someone to help me!" Amelia cried out in frustration.

"Of course. That is why Max is here," said Abugadi, smiling kindly.

A little man younger than Abugadi by a lot staggered in, smiling. "You said my name, your majesty," the little man said. He bowed down in front of the cheif.

 "Ah, Max. Rise, young one," said Abugadi. Max obeyed.

"Accompany Amelia on her quest for the Blue Flower of Life, Max. Help her find and slay the dragon. You two have so much in common, you'll be great companions," said Abugadi.

"Great, you know something, Max? You're probably the only one in this place with a name I can actually pronounce, now let's go," said Amelia hurriedly.

"Oh, and one more thing," said Abugadi. He snapped his fingers, and out of thin air there appeared a backpack, full of first aid, food, water, and everything else the two needed. "Take it. Store the things you collect along the way in here. it will help," said Abugadi. Amelia took it. She and Max left the palace, and, on her way out, Amelia carefully pushed the little gold Scottie into her bag, ready to go and help her friend, ready for anything.

Almost.

 

 

List of Viewer Suggestions
9/9/11
Lil Age 9
England
cool!! i am lost for words the vocabulary was amazing and the story was astonishing please carry on with this spectacular tale
LilXxx
8/17/11
mess maker Age 10
Virginia, United States
very clever! One thing,I didnt understand every thing when she defeted the dragon.
other wise GREAT story!
8/11/11
writergeek Age 12
Minnesota, United States
you might want tol draw afew parts out alittle longer.
6/24/11
kitkat Age 13
Mexico
i love what u have so far but u should add a tst somthing no one is excpeting that will jucie up the storie and more pople will want to read it.
6/24/11
writers rok Age 12
Vermont, United States
When Amelia is walking to the Valley of Life, she should have the feeling she's being followed. Max says it's nothing but Amelia's not so sure. When they get to the Valley of Life, the blue flower is in the middle of a millian orange ones, like Abugadi said. But when Amelia is reaching down to grab the flower the dragon bursts through, turning all the flowers blue. In desperation, Amelia picks one and hopes it's the right one...Is it?
6/12/11
Salra Age 12
Trinidad Tobago
EXCITING NO WORD TO DISCRIBE IT IT rocks
6/9/11
alabama gal Age 12
Alabama, United States
Alabama gal again. Hey you should put: as they started their journey the dragon landerd in front of them, max told amelia to slay him or run. Amelia grabs her sword but the dragon knocked it out of her hand with his tail. the dragon breathes fire and max turns into a little silver statue. amelia grabs him and runs past the dragon, going into the Black Forest.
5/3/11
RedThunderBird Age 10
Pennsylvania, United States
((I love that! :D It is pure awesomeness! Oh, and do you like to play computer and be in bed, sleeping? Just asking. Oh. And if you don't wanna answer, that's fine. To me.))
4/28/11
Tweetie in the Morning Age 9
Pennsylvania, United States
Chapter-2
When Amelia grinned, Max quickly grabbed the backpack from her and snatched somthing in the bag.
"Stay away, you evil thing!" Max cried out. Amelia turned around to see the....Dragon! She screamed as the dragan blew out fire. Her screams froze in the air. Max held out....a gun! Amelia closed her eyes. She couldn't bear to look at the gun. Max aimmed it at the dragon. Max pulled the trigger- Amelia froze when she heard the gun being shot. There was silence.
2/24/11
starshine123 Age 11
United Kingdom
WOW. I am lost for words. That story was amazing. I loved how you built up suspense. Keep up with your writing. IT'S GREAT!
2/3/11
Cat Lover Age 9
North Carolina, United States
I think you should make a intro. A intro is a beginning of the story telling the middle. Then you should start the beginning. So far it is GREAT!!!
7/30/10
alabama gal Age 12
Alabama, United States
on their way to get the flower the dragon comes, sits in front of them, and says in a eerie voice, "To cross my path you must understand that in the end you will fail to save what matters most."
6/9/10
alabama gal Age 12
Alabama, United States
to bring felix back to life she has to slay the dragon, get a drop of his blood and get the blue flower of life. take all the things back to felix put them on him and say, puppy of gold whose ever so bold come join me
6/7/10
alabama gal Age 12
Alabama, United States
As they were walking back the dragon landed in front of them. Felix jumped in front of the dragon as it breathed fire. the dog turned solid gold.
5/26/10
sara224722557 Age 12
Michigan, United States
I really liked this story and I have something to add.
" Amelia set out for the dragon the next day with a satchel full of food and a jug full of water. After a days worth of traveling she stopped in front of a large cave. "Wow how am I going to find a dragon in this cave?" Amelia wondered to herself. After a minute of thinking she took out a candle from her satchel and lit it with a match. She stepped into the cave with the black sword and the candle in her hand. Amelia felt scared but she knew she would have to act brave for the dragon to beleive her. So Amelia took one step after another until she reached the big dragon. When Amelia approched it, the dragon already saw the attack coming.So Amelia and the dragon battled it out for at least an hour. Until the dragon got to tired and gave up. "Alright you win this time but next time I will win." snorted the dragon. After that
Amelia took her time getting home she was in no hurry. But in an hour she had remebered if she didn't hurry she would be late for dinner. So the young hero ran home and didn't see that dragon for the rest of her life."
4/16/10
Zweetok Age 11
England
This si a really good story and I would like to make a suggestion. Could we later have the dragon land in front of Amelia and then the dragon dies. The watookies celebrate and then give her a present, the Golden Orb, which she can use to be transported back to the watookies, and Felix can come to.

Oh yes, could the next story be about mystery and action and adventure. Please! Please! Please! It would be really good because we haven't had a mystery story before. Like Nancy Drew but with a lot more action maybe.
4/12/10
Eagles Soar - 21 Noah Age 9
North Carolina, United States
When Amelia and Felix were alking home Amelia asked Felix, "Do you know when the dragon will come for me?" Then the dragon landed in front of them.
4/1/10
Eagles Soar-19 Grace Age 9
North Carolina, United States
While they were heading back to the castle the Sphinx came into sight.
4/1/10
Eagles Soar-18 Megan Age 9
North Carolina, United States
She went to the dragon one afternoon and accidentally swung the sword back too far and hurt herself
4/1/10
Eagles Soar - 21 Cason Age 8
North Carolina, United States
when she found the dragon it took its claw and sliced at her!
4/1/10
Eagle Soar-17 Salem Age 9
North Carolina, United States
She told her troubles to her father the king nonsense he said as he cried
4/1/10
Eagles Soar -Parker Age 9
North Carolina, United States
but then the princess went back without Felix and the king said he needed to talk to felix not her.So she went back to find Felix but he was not there.
4/1/10
Eagles Soar 15-Natalie Age 9
North Carolina, United States
"W...Wh...Why?Why did you do that?"said Felix."I did it because I'm not that cvaey to fight a huge giant with a powerful sword."I could die!Well if you don't do it your probilly going to dir in the first palace!"
4/1/10
bert Age 10
North Carolina, United States
Amelia stepped inside her house. There she saw a shadow creeping around some corners.She peaked into the room the shadow was in last.Before her she saw the dragon.Amelia stood there silently and thought to herself,"Felix...I need your help."
4/1/10
king Age 11
Texas, United States
why is there a talking dog cant it make follow it.
4/1/10
darius Age 11
Texas, United States
she was sweating in her sleep.
3/29/10
Eagles Soar 8-Grace Age 10
North Carolina, United States
The dog and Amelia started walking through the tunnel. Then suddenly a frightening, scaly, fire breathing creature came out. It was the dragon.
3/29/10
Eagles Soar 8-Brittany Age 10
North Carolina, United States
Felix walked her to the door and told her if you need me I will be at the same place as before. Amelia stepped inside the palace and saw a great big lion before her.
3/29/10
Eagles Soar-5 Grace Age 10
North Carolina, United States
The next thing she knew the dragon was on the top of the tunnel.Instantly Amelia had slayed the dragon.
3/29/10
Eagles Soar-6 Kenny Age 10
North Carolina, United States
Zoom! Felix was flying with Amelia clutching to his furr.
3/29/10
Eagles Soar-9 Abigail Age 10
North Carolina, United States
As Felix and Amelia were walking home a fierce beast stood before them. The dragon in a deep voice said, "Amelia your time's up. I want my sword and your soul."
3/29/10
Eagles Soar-10 Matthew Age 10
North Carolina, United States
"There you are", mumbled the Spinx as Amelia woke up next to the sword.
3/24/10
Mossshadow Age 10
United Kingdom
Um, yeah, great. One question, why's it called the black sword? I think when the sacrivice happens(I don't know how to spell it) she should go to do it herself but something wierdly magical happens to save her, then the dragon goes and starts respecting her because the wierdly magical thing shows he should start respecting her. Well I don't know!
3/13/10
Stanley Age 13
Scotland
Are you going to finish the story or are you going to leave it on a cliffhanger?
3/9/10
Stanley Age 13
Scotland
Well, if you want to end it quickly (if you've got bored) you can always make Amelia look around at all the maids that care for her, and look after her, and think that the only person she wants to sacifice is herself. You can make it sound very noble. The dragon eats her, and goes back home.
3/8/10
Zweetok Age 11
England
I like the story so far..

P.S Stanley we are not the only ones on this site just the only ones commenting here.
3/8/10
Zweetok Age 11
England
I think the story is going well but I wonder how it will end?

P
3/8/10
Stanley Age 13
Scotland
Cool suggestion, Zweetok. Kind of hard to follow though, but great!

P.S Genna, cool pick of the week thing! Are Zweetok and i the only ones on this site?
3/8/10
Zweetok Age 11
England
Well she would be curious and want to return back the next day. The place would be deserted but she still had the sword. I think she should find only one person there and he tells her that if she does not want to make the sacrifice she has to do six quests. Then she goes to another world to do them. She defeats the dragon there and comes back to the other world to find it's full of life and people. A amn grants her a wish but so far I don't know what she could choose.. :(

Cool idea isn't it? :)
3/7/10
genna Age 10
Massachusetts, United States
I love your ideas! what can we do next with this story that would make it more exciting? Stanley, thanks for the comment. Do you have any suggestions on where the story should go next?
3/7/10
Stanley Age 13
Scotland
Yeah, we arre the only ones! It must be the time difference. I can't believe that it's only about half one in the evening in America! Well, i'm going to keep my hands off the key board now, so Zweetok can have Chapter 3!
Please write it soon Genna!

P.S Nice story, Zweetok!
3/7/10
Zweetok Age 11
England
I've just noticed that we are the only people sending suggestions on this site! Me and Stanley!

Could you make chapter three about my ideas? Gemma can you respond?
3/7/10
Zweetok Age 11
England
I like the idea but it seems like there could be a part three when they return and see my world or could you have at least the six quests. PLEASE GEMMA??

P.S Stanley I have written My story (which you should read)Part 1 and 2.
3/7/10
Zweetok Age 11
England
I think that you are doing well but could you make it more like my suggestions? More action would be nice.

P.S I got the name from neopets.com and I found a creature to go with it. Yes I have but let me write Part one of My story which you should read part two.
3/7/10
Stanley Age 13
Scotland
It's brilliant! Your pure imagination about a princess is wicked. I like the dog too, and it's funny with the mattress and alice and the wonder land! Does the dragon have to be bad...? I love dragons. But i suppose, he's got to be the evil villian, unless Abugadi was a double agent! (Ha, i love writing detective stories. Maybe that's why i'm not so good at fantasty)Any way, that chapter two is B-R-I-L-L-I-A-N-T (If that's how you spell Brilliant.

P.S Is there a place where you can put pictures for stories on here?
3/7/10
genna Age 10
Massachusetts, United States
thanks for your ideas! I updated the story and I think it's much better now. take a look!
3/7/10
Stanley Age 13
Scotland
Yeah, a chapter 2 would be great! Thanks, Zweetok. Cool name. Have you written any stories on this site?
3/7/10
Zweetok Age 11
England
A chapter 2 would be very much apprechiated with my earlier idea added in.

P.S Stanley, is also read writer and it's great! :)

Oh and I'm actually 11, I was in Febuary. Oops..
3/7/10
Stanley Age 13
Scotland
Em, what's the plot again? Is it that black sword thing? Sorry, i kind of lost it.
3/7/10
Zweetok Age 11
England
In part two could you make her get into the world somehow and see all these dragons. She would look out into the vast world with all these dragons. Then she comes closer to the dragon in her dreams. Later, she is forced to give the sacrifice but then is asked to do some quests ( you know the six ), and defeats an evil dragon with the sword.

Could you pretty please follow a bit this plot a least. It would be good cause we would combine both ideas.
Could you make a chapter two about this?
Please Genna, sorry it's a bit hard to follow. You don't have to use the sword that way but could you please include the rest in part two.

P.S You are a great writer!
3/6/10
Stanley Age 13
Scotland
If worst comes to worst, Amelia's father, the king, could be the sacrifice (if he's alive?) and Amelia could end up being teh Queen and ruling the dragon world and her world. I also think that before she goes in side the cave with the dog (if she is) it would be cool if she had another dream. May not it her bed, maybe in the middle of dinner or something, and she faints?

Just a suggestion. This stor's going to be great if you're writing it.
^_^
3/6/10
Stanley Age 13
Scotland
Hey, you're right Zweetok, i completey forgot about the title. That black sword idea is good, so's the dog one. Inside the cave there could be six colours, bouncing off the walls and almost blinding her. They could represent the six quests!

Wow! Thanks so much for putting the Sphinx and the sacrifice in! I saw your website in Young Writer (brill magazine) and i just couldn't resist. You are so cool!
3/6/10
genna Age 10
Massachusetts, United States
thanks! I just updated it! oh, and the black sword is a big part of the ending...and amelia's life!
3/6/10
Zweetok Age 11
England
I don't think the title doesn't have much to do with the story so far. I think at her 6th quest she has to get the black sword from a serpant guard with a nasty bite, and kill the evil dragon Darigan with it.

P.S Please could you use that name if not a name that's scary, at least.
3/6/10
Zweetok Age 11
England
I think you should combine my idea with Stanley's. That way we both get to share the story and use our imagination.

She should incounter the object which Stanley mention which leads her to my world with all the dragons and the 6 quests.

Cool idea, huh? :)
Hope you like it cause I like your ideas, they're cool. :)
3/6/10
Zweetok Age 11
England
Well I think she should go out for a stroll with her dog one day. The dog would get away and then pass a long forest, then through a cave and see a world different from ours. The dragon would fly above her head. She would be taken to other places to combat a villain which they can only defeat in a special way. The hero will have different quests and at the end of the 6 quests she shall be given a wish to make come true.

P.S I think that she should be able to turn into a dragon and live with them.
Just a suggestion though.
3/6/10
Stanley Age 13
Scotland
In the maze of hedges she could find a sphinx which tells here where the dragon is, but gives her a warning or something. A clue.

(I'm thirteen by the way, heh, i just acidentally hit the wrong button.)
3/6/10
genna Age 10
Massachusetts, United States
so what should my part 2 be about?
3/6/10
Zweetok Age 11
England
Could you also make other ones with more than one part.
I think that the Collaborative story idea is good, but you should have another part of the site with stories that you start off and we continue. By we, I mean the other people that come to the site.
I think you should make more unbelelievable like worlds.

I like imagined worlds because it shows your imagination and it's like my long story, which I haven't finished..
3/6/10
Zweetok Age 11
England
It's good the ending, I like it. My idea was before to make it more about less believable creatures ( I said mythical like ones ), and you must have heard my idea!
Lots of suspense, as well!

P.S Great story, could you make a Part Two? Please??? That would be great!

If you make longer stories later in life and more captivating ones, you could be a great writer, Honest!
3/6/10
Stanley Age 13
Scotland
The dragon could want a sacrifice!
Genna's World is a creative writing web site for kids. Kids can submit and post original stories, book reviews, comments on other kids' writing, and suggestions for a collaborative story. GennasWorld, for writers, by Genna.